Being female in a patriarchal society tends to make us question ourselves and our power more often than our male counterparts. This is not a rant against men, just an observation on life as it is here in these United States. Even I, a well-educated and self-assured person have moments (even periods) of doubt, self-loathing, and existential angst. I say [ridiculous] things to myself like, “I can’t manifest my will,” or “[It] won’t work, so why bother.”
Self-defeat is one of the more useless acts that stands in the way of becoming a powerful witch. (Laziness is another.) I did a working back in October that simply flopped. I mean nothing happened. In fact, I started to get a little paranoid wondering when or if my magic would manifest. That was my first mistake: you can’t make magic if you don’t mean it. Second, there is no power in indecisiveness. What message are you sending to The Universe if you behave in this way? Oh, I’d like some success, maybe...? You’re basically wasting The Universe’s time.
So how do you get over your silliness and start to take yourself and your potential seriously?
Start small. Meditate every day. Get in touch with your Higher Self. Listen to the wind, put your hands in the earth, drink water and really feel it move through your body, and marvel at the qualities of fire. Become aware of what is around you, what season it is, what the plants in your yard are doing, what the sky looks like, etc. Plan a small ritual and complete it. You don’t have to work magic every time, just commune with the Divine.
Eventually, you’ll start to feel differently and notice things you never noticed before. Like a muscle, you have to exercise your magic to become stronger. You’ll make mistakes. Goddess knows I have! But you’ll also learn things, especially about yourself. You’ll meet your Dark Side head-on and you’ll revel in the wonder that is your Light Side. Patterns in Nature and yourself will begin to emerge and your confidence and abilities will grow.
You can read all the books you want (which I highly encourage!) but you won’t grow unless you start doing things and become open to the billions of possibilities that emerge when you tap into your Magical Self. The image that came to me today is that of a flower blooming. If you stood and watched it, it would take a long time to see it open. But patience has its reward!