tending my spirit, learning from the universe

Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Bibliomancy – 9/28

My job has been exceptionally vulnerable lately, as in, a quarter million dollars was taken out of our budget with no warning. So, you can probably imagine I’ve been feeling stressed out. For shits and giggles, I pulled a book off the shelf and concentrated on my question: “What should I do about my job?”

I closed my eyes, flipped through the book (which just so happened to be Regardie’s Tree of Life) and my finger landed, not on a word or sentence, but upon a full-page illustration of Anubis. The God of the Dead.

HA! I couldn’t help it — I laughed at the Universe’s blunt response. But after reflection, it fit. My job has been “dying” for quite a while now. I’ve been “dying” of boredom and feeling trapped. Perhaps it is time to get out? On my own terms? Perhaps become a funeral director?

Oh, Universe, you scamp!

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I’m not dead!

I am here, gentle readers. I have just been up to my eyeballs in Life. A good thing for me, a bad thing for this blog.

News: I am embarking on a 13 week course of training in wicca with a local group. The lessons are free and I’ll be sure to blog about how they go here. I don’t know if I want to necessarily be wiccan, but it will be nice to be back in a class with other pagans again. I am grateful for that.

Our Filters

Jeffrey, over at Old Ways, does semimonthly classes on a variety of topics. He’s really quite amazing. The classes are all great and inspiring, but every so often he does a class that just hits me with a whammy and gets me thinking. His most recent class is “Surviving Empathy.” His point is if we stop reacting to the world and start responding instead, we keep our power and we manifest love instead of fear. We need to let go of (more…)

Joy through pain

Two of my brothers and both parents have completely and absolutely ignored my announcements of my engagement and impending nuptials. It’s pretty heartbreaking to be treated this way by your own family, but I’ll count my blessings where I can. Namely, I’m marrying the person I love and trust more than anyone else in the world. We’re going to become a family. Also, my brother John & his wife have shown enthusiasm and support. John even agreed to be in the wedding!

I will not beg anyone to come to the wedding. If they don’t want to be there, that’s their choice; however, I wish they’d at least have the courage to let me know they’re against it or upset, or whatever! This silence and denial is worse than any words they could spew forth.

Spiritually, I’ve felt very small the past 3 weeks. My heart has contracted and I am having difficulty expanding it with forgiveness and love toward 2/3 of my family. I had a good cry last night, but the pain lingers.

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