My job has been exceptionally vulnerable lately, as in, a quarter million dollars was taken out of our budget with no warning. So, you can probably imagine I’ve been feeling stressed out. For shits and giggles, I pulled a book off the shelf and concentrated on my question: “What should I do about my job?”
I closed my eyes, flipped through the book (which just so happened to be Regardie’s Tree of Life) and my finger landed, not on a word or sentence, but upon a full-page illustration of Anubis. The God of the Dead.
HA! I couldn’t help it — I laughed at the Universe’s blunt response. But after reflection, it fit. My job has been “dying” for quite a while now. I’ve been “dying” of boredom and feeling trapped. Perhaps it is time to get out? On my own terms? Perhaps become a funeral director?
Oh, Universe, you scamp!
Jeffrey, over at Old Ways, does semimonthly classes on a variety of topics. He’s really quite amazing. The classes are all great and inspiring, but every so often he does a class that just hits me with a whammy and gets me thinking. His most recent class is “Surviving Empathy.” His point is if we stop reacting to the world and start responding instead, we keep our power and we manifest love instead of fear. We need to let go of (more…)
I was at a workshop out of town last Friday. We had a long lunch so I went to the local Barnes & Noble to browse. I found all kinds of cool stuff, but decided to buy a few sale books I’ve been looking for and a copy of the latest issue of Sage Woman magazine.
It was getting near the time I needed to return to my workshop, so I got into line behind two people. The cashier was this blond guy with glasses. I could only really see his head. The little old lady that was being checked-out was having trouble with her credit card or something, so the line wasn’t moving. Finally she (more…)
I’m gently chuckling to myself today… Why?
A little background: I did a money spell last week because it seems money just keeps flowing away from me, not the other way around. My car got towed (long story), my cats got very ill and required expensive vet visits & treatment, and I ended up owing a chunk o’ change to the IRS instead of getting a refund this year, to name a few.
Image credit: Skinbase.org
So yes, I’ve been worried about money lately. Increasingly so. My insecurity was making me anxious and I figured I’d do a little spellwork, a little meditation, etc., to ask the Universe for a little help.
Recently when I was looking for tax documents I came across a folder holding information from my anniversary party 3 years ago. I couldn’t resist a tiny trip down memory lane, so I went through all the lovely cards my friends had given me and my partner. I opened one envelope to find an unused giftcard for $15!
So the gods are listening! Granted, it’s just $15, but I’m not one to sneeze at a gift. I’m still pretty broke but my faith is unbroken.
I need to stop worrying. The Universe is not my bitch. I need to let go. The Universe will provide what I need. Not necessarily what I want, but what I need. I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and gas in the car. I have a lot of love in my life. Sure, money’s really tight right now, but there are many souls out there who are worse-off than me.
What did I do? I turned right around and gave that $15 to someone whom I thought needed it. And it felt really good!
I meditated the other night and did some spellwork for improvement in my financial scene. While in a trance, I had a very clear, very strong image of me making get-well cards for sick children at a hospital. I don’t know what this means. I’ve been mulling it over and still can’t make sense of it. Am I supposed to make cards for kids? Is it because my aunt is in the hospital after a recent stroke? Does it have to do with a child I know going to a hospital? (I hope not!)
Usually, my messages from the other side have made more sense. I’m trying not to over-think this, but I admit I’m stymied.
Each day, I pass hundreds of signs on my commute. Stop signs, speed limit signs, exit signs, billboards, bumperstickers, the list goes on… I often see hawks sitting atop the lights in the interstate median. They gaze down upon us from this high perch with what I only assume is a superior perspective. To the birds up there, we are just tiny beings in our cars zipping by, weaving around each other, getting on the highway, getting off, oblivious to the natural world.
Friday morning I was halfway to work when a huge hawk lifted off the right side of the highway and flew right in front of my car. I could see the powerful talons dangling below his breast and I gasped. Then I smiled. The hawk is an indicator I am now awakening to my soul purpose, my reason for being here. It can teach me how to fly high while keeping myself connected to the ground.
I have yet to figure out my soul purpose, but find solace in the notion that I have one.