tending my spirit, learning from the universe

You Get What You Ask For

I’m gently chuckling to myself today… Why?

A little background: I did a money spell last week because it seems money just keeps flowing away from me, not the other way around. My car got towed (long story), my cats got very ill and required expensive vet visits & treatment, and I ended up owing a chunk o’ change to the IRS instead of getting a refund this year, to name a few.

Image credit: Skinbase.org

So yes, I’ve been worried about money lately.  Increasingly so. My insecurity was making me anxious and I figured I’d do a little spellwork, a little meditation, etc.,  to ask the Universe for a little help.

Recently when I was looking for tax documents I came across a folder holding information from my anniversary party 3 years ago. I couldn’t resist a tiny trip down memory lane, so I went through all the lovely cards my friends had given me and my partner. I opened one envelope to find an unused giftcard for $15!

So the gods are listening! Granted, it’s just $15, but I’m not one to sneeze at a gift. I’m still pretty broke but my faith is unbroken.

Lesson learned:

I need to stop worrying. The Universe is not my bitch. I need to let go. The Universe will provide what I need. Not necessarily what I want, but what I need. I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and gas in the car. I have a lot of love in my life. Sure, money’s really tight right now, but there are many souls out there who are worse-off than me.

What did I do? I turned right around and gave that $15 to someone whom I thought needed it. And it felt really good!

A New Book

Photo credit: Oberon Designs

I’m currently working on a new book of shadows. My old one was kind of a joke…mostly printouts and scribbled notes jammed into a folder. Hardly what one would call a “book”  much less something that was organized or useful.

I invested in a 3-ring binder, some plastic page covers, some tabbed dividers, and a purple pen.  I’ve made lists of various correspondences, the Moon’s phases for the year, and gathered my Sabbat rituals into one place.

Sure, I’d love to have one of those fancy  leather-bound books (like the ridiculously gorgeous ones from Oberon Designs, see image left), but let’s face it: my handwriting is best described as serial-killer-esque, and I can’t draw to save my life. There would be many torn-out pages and a lot of poor design. So, to remedy that I’m going the typed and printed route, encased in plastic sheets for longevity. Not as aesthetically pleasing, but functional and practical.

An Odd Vision

I meditated the other night and did some spellwork for  improvement in my financial scene. While in a trance, I had a very clear, very strong image of me making get-well cards for sick children at a hospital. I don’t know what this means. I’ve been mulling it over and still can’t make sense of it.  Am I supposed to make cards for kids? Is it because my aunt is in the hospital after a recent stroke? Does it have to do with a child I know going to a hospital? (I hope not!)

Usually, my messages from the other side have made more sense. I’m trying not to over-think this, but I admit I’m stymied.

Listening to the Chasing Hermes podcast. They’ve got a great episode on the shadow side of things, specifically ourselves.

New Books

In the past week I scored the first and second of Ann Moura’s Green Witchcraft books at the used bookstore! Yay! I had volume 3 already. I love her books because she’s down-to-earth, she has great ritual suggestions, and she doesn’t hesitate to show both sides of “the coin”. Balance is the key here and she takes that seriously.

I”m working on trying to find John Coughlin’s ethics books. I know they’re on amazon, but I want to see if I can find them locally first.

UPDATE

The Green Witchcraft trilogy:

  1. Green Witchcraft: Folk Magic, Fairy Lore & Herb Craft
  2. Green Witchcraft II: Balancing Light & Shadow
  3. Green Witchcraft III: The Manual

Oh, and I did break down and buy the Coughlin books (1, 2) online. I couldn’t find them used around here. They should arrive in a week or so. I’ll post reviews after I read them.

Dark Side Confessions

Photo credit: Øyvind Ganesh Eknes

My reading list grows longer and longer. Currently I’m reading 2-3 books a month: some fiction, some not. I just finished A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick. It was lyrical and lush while dark and tragic. I couldn’t put it down. This is one of many instances of the “dark” in my life currently. I recently listened to ep. 18 of A Pagan in the Threshold where MeadowMoon  opened up and shared with her listeners her fascination with the dark aspects of life and magic and how comfortable she felt there. I applaud her honesty, as many pagans avoid the topic altogether, fearing what others will think of them, or fearing they themselves will somehow become lost if they explore their dark side.

We all have a dark side. Some of us have lived it, and not because we necessarily wanted to. As a survivor of multiple bouts of Depression over the years, I can say the dark is not fun; however, I learned so much about myself from those times, I don’t know I’d be the same person today without that knowledge.

This is not to say I endorse mental illness as a way to self-discovery or personal growth! I do know that I had a choice: I could either wallow or climb out of the metaphorical pit. I chose to climb. Having had both perspectives (above-ground and below) I appreciate both and know that the dark isn’t bad or evil but it is certainly not for Read the rest of this entry »

Things that have changed

  1. I’m not completely anti-gun anymore. In fact, now that I own a house, I’d like to have a handgun and learn to use it. I still don’t think anyone needs semi-automatic or automatic weapons, but that’s for the politicians to work out.
  2. I’m really a Pagan now. Not a ‘seeker’ or an agnostic. I’m comfortable in these sacred shoes.  I still have much to learn and a million ways to grow, but I’m finally on the right spiritual path!
  3. I don’t enjoy driving as much as I used to. It’s most likely because i have to drive so far and amongst so many assholes every day.
  4. I don’t want to have children. I want to have lots of nieces and nephews, blood-related and not. I just don’t think raising a kid is something I want to dedicate my life to. That said, I have real respect and appreciation for my peers who are, or are becoming, parents.
  5. I’m really going to do the things I say I am. Raise chickens? Yep. Sew a quilt? Yep. Clean the garage? Yep. Etc. My will needs to be developed and not swayed by laziness or passing fancy.

These are just a few things that I can think of now.

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