Just finished listening to episode 14 of Media Astra Ac Terra, a wonderful podcast by Oraia the Sphinx. She had a segment about how everything is impermanent (except for nirvana, according to Buddhist teachings) and that magic won’t make us invulnerable to the world or to change. Since change is inevitable, what magics we do may not always result in the change we think they will. The universe has a way of doing its own thing, regardless of what little ol’ me wants or needs.
I had a rough couple of days during my holiday break. A jerky driver who was probably drunk or high got in my path and proceeded to wander all over the road, then scream profanities at me when I honked at him after he sat at a stop sign for 3 minutes. (There was no oncoming traffic…) Then a few days later, some more jerks started yelling racially charged nonsense at me and my partner’s family, who happen to be Chinese, on the street as we walked to our cars after lunch.
I have to say, I was thrown. Why were all the assholes of the world coming out of the woodwork and WHY were they all near ME? Then I remembered it was a full moon, and the crazies all made some sense. A full moon certainly doesn’t excuse their reprehensible behaviors, but the timing was notable.
Where am I going with all of this? Well, I had made an amulet before my travels home to help me quell anxiety. It worked for the most part, but the two encounters with angry men wrenched up my anxiety. A visit from my partner’s very judgmental mother didn’t help calm me down either. So yeah, I wondered why my amulet wore off so quickly.
It’s probably because I made it on the fly without much preparation. So of course it wore off quickly. But it was better than pills or booze to lessen the anxiety…right?! It would probably benefit me to develop a daily practice and strengthen my will. Until then, I remain thankful for intelligent and helpful reminders that I’m not in charge. I’m the Universe’s bitch.